We have missed our little Alice.. come let's go to Wonderland and see what has happened..... Come on, let's take a walk, and let's dive down the rabbit hole for another glance ....Things are going great in Wonderland. The white queen has the crown, the mad hatter is mad, all is well that ends well. So snug in her little bed and in her perfect work she goes to bed... Only to wake up and not know where she was or for that matter who she was.
I wonder what went through Alice's mind in those first few minutes she woke up. As she looks around this strange place she has found herself... I wonder if she was scared or curious.
So, she climbs out of the place she woke up and finds clothes that fit her. She finds boots that are perfect for combat and from a letter she learns her name is Alice.... FAST FORWARD a bit... she goes down into the hive and learns she can totally kick ass. Alice is no longer the nice little girl that was oh so sweet and naive. Alice has some wicked skill and she no longer does what they think she should. Alice can now defend herself, and she does readily. She no longer does as she is told in a calm meek manner, she ask then decides if it should be done that way or if she should hit it with a big effin hammer...
Alice is no longer the little door mat but can take the door off at the hinges. I wonder does she feel a sense of accomplishment or just accept it for being the way it is?
I woke up not knowing where I was, I knew who I was but not the where. I went to bed as a 19 year old girl that was oh so sweet and naive ..... Fast Forward a bit.... I am 33, I am no longer meek and mild, I have some wicked skill! I find in myself that I will no longer go along as it has been but I would rather decide to get a big effin hammer or take the door off at the hinges. I found myself in a hive, so to speak, no it does not have zombies but the children as just as bad some days. I found I can totally kick ass and I am ok with that, I feel an sense of accomplishment in myself. I can look back over the last 15 years that I lost and see where I was and where I am. No, I don't know how I made it here but here I am none the less and as I look around at the things I have changed in the last 4 months, the things that I will change in the up coming months, I have decided that this is not such a bad place to be.
A friend once told me I have on blinders for my life, while that is partly true, in a way, all in all I lost my blinders in October and I can see with crystal clarity just how fucked up this was and can be again if I am not on my toes. But ... I have hope. Tomorrow is a new day to make the changes needed slowly but surely ... I have hope because I have some wicked ass kicking skills....
All in all Alice went to bed a little girl woke up a woman with a mission and in the end she survived and has a purpose... I think she can handle that and I know I can...
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